Amy Castro | ICTS

Author: Amy Castro

Six Tips for Better Nonverbal Communication

Published on: May 15, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, avoid mixed messages, body language, communication, conflict resolution, customer service, icts, innovative communication and training solutions, interpersonal, nonverbal communication, professional communication

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When I started the Practical Communication Blog, my second post was entitled, “What You Don’t Know About Nonverbal Communication Can Hurt You.” In it, I discussed the importance of understanding the powerful role nonverbal communication plays in our interactions.

Today, I want to share five nonverbal communication tips taken from my book “Practical Communication: 25 Tips, Tools, and Techniques for Getting Along and Getting Things Done.”

1. Match the message to the nonverbals.

Nonverbals that send messages that are consistent with the words you use will reinforce those words. If you, “mean it,” you have to look and sound like you mean it.

You can’t tell someone, “If you don’t come in on time tomorrow, I’ll need to write you up,” while looking at your shoes and whispering. You need to speak firmly and without hesitation, look the person directly in the eye, and sound as if you mean what we’re saying.

2. Take note of thoughts and feelings before speaking.

If you want to sound confident, but feel terrified, at best you’ll come across as insecure. The mindset and emotion must match the words. The same goes for when you’re angry or upset about something, but want to discuss the problem calmly without sounding angry or upset. You’re not going to pull it off, because the anger will likely “leak” through your nonverbal communication.

3. Realize that nonverbal communication is situational.

A strong tone meant to tell someone, “I mean it!” might be read as assertive by one person, and misinterpreted by another as anger or frustration. Additionally, nonverbals can take on different connotations depending on the situation. For example, the strong tone you might use when telling children at home, “I mean it,” may be completely inappropriate at work or in a social situation. Therefore, you may need to adjust our nonverbals for different situations and people.

4. Make a point of using nonverbals to strengthen your message.

In order to match your nonverbals to your words as outlined in #1 above, you have to consciously think about what nonverbals will strengthen your message BEFORE you open your mouth. Think about what facial expressions, gestures, posture, movement, vocal quality, etc., would reinforce the following messages:

- This is the third time this week you’ve been late. This can’t happen again.

- I really appreciate the time and effort you obviously put into this report.

- I love your idea. It’s the best I’ve heard all day.

Think about how different they would sound and how you would (should) look saying them.

5. Realize that nonverbal communication varies across cultures.

Americans view eye contact as a tremendous indicator of sincerity, honesty, and confidence. As such, most require eye contact in order to take interactions seriously.

Keep in mind though, the use of eye contact, and in fact many nonverbal messages, mean different things in different cultures. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to learn the nonverbal “rules” of every culture in the world. However, when interacting with others, you should consider that they might not operate under the same nonverbal rules as you do.

Additionally, when you’re in social or work situations where you know you’ll be interacting with people from a different culture, it’s a good idea to become at least familiar with some of their nonverbal “customs” not only so you can better read them, but to allow you to adjust your nonverbals accordingly.

6. Pay attention to what others’ nonverbals are telling you, but be cautious about over-interpreting their meaning.

Just as your nonverbals communicate to others, their nonverbals are communicating to you. When talking with someone, even on the telephone, listen carefully to what his or her nonverbals are telling you. Are they sending contradicting messages from the person’s words? Do the nonverbals reveal something about how the person is feeling or what he or she may really think?

However, don’t make the mistake of believing that by reading others’ nonverbals you become a mind reader. Nonverbal behaviors can often have more than one interpretation. If in doubt about what someone’s behavior is telling you, ask or use the Perception Checking technique I shared in a previous post.

Five Lessons Learned From Kittens

by Amy Castro

Published on: May 7, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, avoid mixed messages, communication, communication guidelines, conflict, icts, innovative communication and training solutions, professional communication, talking

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I’ve recently taken in a few foster kittens. “A few” being one of those “relative” terms I’m always warning my workshop participants about.

“Define ‘a few’ on a scale of one to 100?”

Moving on…

Taking care of these little creatures, whose combined weight is around 8 lbs, has been easy and quite entertaining. What I didn’t know, was how educational it was going to be.

Here are some lessons we could all learn from kittens:

1. Communicate your needs.

If you’re hungry, let someone know.

If you need some attention, let someone know.

If you just need some peace and quiet, let someone know.

2. Show appreciation when your needs are met.

My foster kittens love to eat. When I come in with their food in the morning, they dive in. However, when they’re done, they always come over and sit by me (or on me) and purr. I think that’s their way of saying “thanks.”

When others help you meet your needs, let them know how much they’ve helped and that you appreciate it.

3. When your needs have been met, let someone else have a turn.

Kittens seem to have a system of trade-off. They play with something, then let someone else have a turn. They eat and then move on to make room for someone else. They groom each other and get groomed in return.

Most of us go through our days focused on getting our own needs met. When we get up in the morning, our first thought generally isn’t, “Gee, what can I do for someone else today?” Try setting a goal, even for one day, to find out what those around you need and how you can help.

4. Get enough rest.

When kittens are tired, they just stop and take a nap. Although we’re not always in the position to do so ourselves, most of us need to do a better job of at least getting a good night’s sleep. When we don’t, things generally don’t go well for us– we make mistakes, can’t clearly think through problems, and we don’t communicate well with others. Try getting in your 8 hours– or at least more than you do now!

5. When in doubt, lean back and assess the situation before diving in.

Kittens are pretty clever. When facing an unknow situation, the smart ones don’t cower, but they’re cautious and take a second to breathe, observe, and “think about it,” before jumping in. We could learn a lesson from that.

Stop Beating a Dead Horse: 5 Reasons You Should Stop Using Cliches (and Idioms)

by Amy Castro

Published on: May 1, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro's blog, avoid mixed messages, business writing, communication, icts, innovative communication and training solutions, public speaking

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At the end of the day, the bottom line with communication is to create a win-win situation between you and your audience. In a nutshell, you want to communicate your message clearly.

Okay, how many clichés have you counted so far?

According to Dictionary.com, a cliché is, “A trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse. The site defines idioms as, “Expressions whose meaning is not predictable from the usual meanings of its constituent elements,” and goes on to clarify that idioms are often culturally specific and don’t translate well into other languages.

Since I don’t want to turn this into an English lesson, I’ll stop here with the definitions. The bottom line is that clichés and idioms are best avoided. Here are 10 reasons why.

1. They’re worn out and boring.

As the dictionary entry above notes, words and phrases become clichés because they’ve been overused.

2. They don’t translate.

Clichés don’t translate well to other languages and they don’t cross generational lines well either. The phrase, “Salute smartly and carry on,” probably makes sense to veterans and those from the “traditionalist” generation– it loosely translates to “do what you’re told to do.” However, for younger people who haven’t served, the phrase probably has no meaning. Additionally, if you translated, “salute smartly,” into another language; the true meaning of the phrase would be lost.

3. You may be using them incorrectly anyway.

How many times have you heard someone say, “I nipped it in the butt”? The correct phrase is, “nipped in the BUD,” meaning, to stop something in its early development. The phrase relates to nipping buds from plants before they’ve had a chance to bloom, in order that the plant will produce even more flowers.

Other examples include “difficult road to hoe,” and “six and one and half dozen of the other.”

4. They tell people you’re lazy and lack imagination.

Rather than taking the time to express yourself clearly, you opt instead to toss in one, or a dozen, “borrowed” phrases.

5. They make you sound fake.

A boss who asks employees to “think outside the box,” or “give 110%,” and tells them he or she is available, “24/7,” just sounds like a phony. The same goes for everyone who overuses clichés- they become cliché.

I’ve given you some of my personal favorites. Here are a few business-specific cliches that drive me crazy.

- Heads up

-Touching base

-Value added

-Paradigm shift

-Drop the ball

-Take it to the next level

Can you add to the list?

The First Step in a Successful Job Search: Believe in Yourself

by Amy Castro

Published on: April 23, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, communication, icts, job search, job search mistakes, job search tips, job seekers, monique solomon spence, professional communication, spence staffing and coaching solutions, spence staffing solutions

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Whether you’re a first-time job seeker or a seasoned, professional job hunter, the first step toward getting the position you deserve is believing in yourself. My friend and colleague Monique Solomon Spence, Executive Recruiter and Business Coach, and President of Spence Staffing Solutions (www.spencestaffingandcoachingsolutions.com), offers the following tips for job seekers.

Believe in Yourself

“This is the best advice I can give any job seeker seeking employment or in career transition. It is important that you market and sell yourself confidently when it comes to your knowledge, skills and abilities,” Monique says. ”First and foremost, You have to believe that you are fully capable of performing the job. If you don’t feel that you can do the job do not market yourself as a professional in that field.”

Sometimes we are enthusiastic about our skills or abilities. The word enthusiasm literally means “God within.” The only way to exude true confidence and enthusiasm is have a true conviction in your heart that you can do what you say you can do and you are good at it. If you don’t feel you can do the job 100%, don’t apply. Confidence and enthusiasm go hand in hand.

Belief in Yourself can even make up for lack of experience or education. When you believe in yourself it shows and others believe in you too!

Find a Job That Fits, Don’t Try to Fit a Job

One reason that there is so much stress in job searching is that job seekers too often try to make their skills fit an open position based on pay, location, and sometimes desperation, instead of looking for one that compliments the skills they already have.

In fact, the biggest mistake job seekers can make is applying for a job based on pay, instead of making sure their skills are a good fit first. Remember apply based on your skills, not your lifestyle.

Take Steps Every Day to Strengthen Your Belief in Yourself and the Ability to Get the Job You Want

1. Research positions in your desired field and educate yourself on new techniques and changes in the industry.

2. Understand the history and current events of companies that interest you.

3. Review the resumes of other job seekers that are in your industry.

4. Identify key things that make you “stand out” from other applicants.

5. Stay connected and get involved in local affiliations, clubs and networking events. You never know who you may meet, that is looking for YOU!

6. Make looking for a job your full time job. You won’t be successful if you don’t give your job search your 100% attention every day.

7. Remind yourself that your Belief is the most VALUABLE asset you have.

8. Be Vision-Inspired every day! See what you seek and let that vision guide you toward success.

8 Bad Listening Habits Everyone Should Break

by Amy Castro

Published on: April 11, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, bad listening habits, business etiquette, communication, conflict resolution, customer service, icts, innovative communication and training solutions, interpersonal, listening, practical communication blog, professional communication, tips for listening

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In a previous post, I discussed how to Improve Your Listening in Five Easy Steps. However, sometimes you have to start with breaking some bad listening habits.

Do any of these sound like you?

1. Interrupting- You’re basically telling the other person that what they were trying to say is totally unimportant to you. Resist the urge. Bite your tongue if you have to and let the other person have his or her say.

2. Stage Hogging- If you dominate conversations, interrupt to take over, or constantly change the subject to talk about you and your interests, you’re a stage hog. Stage hogging can also be more subtle, coming in the form of “The Bigger Fish Syndrome.” This occurs when someone else tells a story and you just can’t let him or her have the moment. The fish you caught is bigger. The car wreck you had was worse. Your boss is more demanding. You get the picture. How do you stop becoming a stage hog, start by taking the advice in step 1 above.

3. Pseudolistening- You’re smiling and giving the other person all the nonverbal signals that you’re paying attention but your brain is in Bermuda.

If you make a commitment to listen, then you should listen.

If you don’t want to or can’t listen now, then be honest and say so.

I’d rather have people tell me, “Now’s not a good time, can we talk later?,” than lie to me and say they’re listening when they’re not.

4. Apathetic/Insensitive listening- When you listen to words and don’t also listen to the speaker’s nonverbals, you’re probably being an insensitive listener.

You hear, “My cat fluffy died,” and disregard the devastated look on the speaker’s face, the tears, the obvious emotion in his or her voice, and reply, “Why don’t you just get another cat?,” or “Everyone’s gotta go sometime!”

5. Defensive listening- Most people have issues they’re sensitive to. Defensive listening occurs when someone else brings up that issue and you react in a way that is out of proportion to the person’s comment. Think about the word “room” to a teenager. A parent says, “I want to talk about your room,” and the teen immediately goes into a tirade trying to justify why the room is a mess, when in fact, the parent may have wanted to discuss repainting or redecorating. Don’t allow your sensitivity to keep you from hearing something you need or might want to hear.

6. Allowing distractions- Your mouth says, “Yes I have time to talk,” but you continue to read e-mail, answer phone calls, look at your calendar, etc. If you make a commitment to a conversation, give the other party your undivided attention. Don’t complete other tasks. If those other task are so important, tell the other person so and ask him or her if you can talk about their issue later.

7. Using poor listening body language- Listening involves more than just your ears. If a huge percentage of communication comes from a person’s body language, you’ve got to “listen” to that with your eyes. Eye contact is critical to really listening to others.

Additionally, the nonverbal messages you send to the speaker can tell him or her that you’re interested and engaged, or bored and self-absorbed. Here are some additional nonverbal tips for good listeners:

- Look at the speaker

- Orient your body toward the speaker

- Lean in to the speaker to show interest/involvement

- Be still. Not like a statue, but don’t fidget, rock in your chair, etc.

- “React” to what you’re hearing. Your facial expression and body movements should show the speaker you “get it.” If the speaker says, “The building is on fire,” or, “I’m really concerned about this,” there should be some reaction on your part- not a blank stare or plastered-on smile.

8. Not putting on the “right” listening ears- There are many different types of listening, from appreciative listening, which is what you do when you listen to music, to critical listening, which is the analytical/evaluative listening you should be doing when you buy a used car. You can’t do the right kind of listening if you don’t know the goal of your listening.

If in doubt ask the speaker, “What can I do for you? Are you looking for advice, empathy, or just a sounding board?” I know it sounds crazy, but if you don’t, you’re likely to give the wrong answer. People who are looking for empathy generally doesn’t appreciate a response that begins with, “Well, what you should have done was…” In turn, people looking for advice will walk away dissatisfied with a response such as, “Gee, I’m sorry. I guess you have an important decision to make. Good luck.”

Do you have any other bad listening habits are you brave enough to confess?

Three Steps to a Great Conversation

by Amy Castro

Published on: April 3, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, communication, customer service, empathy, icts, icts texas, innovative communication and training solutions, professional communication

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Whether you’re in a job interview, meeting new people, or catching up with an old friend, a great conversation is more than just, “I talk, you listen. You talk, I listen.” The art of good conversation takes skill and practice. Here are three steps you can take toward becoming a great conversationalist.

1. Get to know your “audience.” Knowing your audience is more than just knowing a person’s name.

What generation is the person from? Traditional? Baby Boomer? Gen Xer? Millenial? Generation 9/11? The world and societal events people face in their lives, especially in their formative years, has a major impact on the people they become? Identifying a person’s generation can help you learn more about his or her preferred communication style, values, views about what is or is not respectful, beliefs about authority/hierarchy in an organization, etc. This information can help you “package” the conversation, especially your comments, in a way that appeals to their values.

For example, Baby Boomers are known to be competitive and value achievement. Those from Gen X tend to value work/life balance, flexibility, and a balance of autonomy and teamwork. Therefore, appealing to a Baby Boomer’s desire to rise in the organization might work, but wouldn’t hold the same appeal for a Gen Xers. The ability to work from home or to job share might be more appealing to a Gen Xer.

Although generational information is helpful as a starting point, be careful not to paint any person with too broad of a brush- there are always exceptions to generational “rules.” The best way to get to know someone’s values is to listen well. They’ll usually reveal them when sharing their thoughts, concerns, and goals.

What’s the setting or purpose of the conversation? What are the roles of the parties?Finally, consider your setting and the role of the person to whom you are speaking. You wouldn’t speak to a potential employer in a job interview the same way you would speak to a friend at a party. A final hint regarding setting, it sets the tone of the conversation and if you’re in another person’s space (office or home) you can tell a lot about him or her by the looking around you at the way they’ve arranged it, the items they have in it, etc.

2. Mirror the other person’s body language. Mirroring body language creates a feeling of trust and rapport with the other person. Although the other person is unlikely to be aware of why, it creates a feeling of “sameness” and familiarity which makes people feel comfortable.

Don’t become a mime, but do pay attention to things like the person’s facial expression, hand gestures, posture and positioning, and the way he or she speaks, and try to mirror it.

Mirroring takes practice, so take your time and start slowly by focusing on one thing, like facial expressions or hand gestures. If he smiles, you smile. If she has a habit of counting things off on her fingers, you can do the same when you are sharing your list of ideas.

A great way to practice is to see if you can smoothly and comfortably mirror an actor on your favorite television show. You don’t have to be exact in your movements. You just need to approximate the actor’s body language.

3. Truly listen! A good conversation is about finding the balance between talking and listening. This can be difficult for many people because we’re trained to be talkers, not listeners. Resist the urge to interrupt or “top” what the other person has said. Instead, ask open-ended questions, paraphrase what you’ve heard, and even use silence to encourage the other person to elaborate.

Finally, you need to listen to more than just the words you hear. What is the other person’s nonverbal communication saying? Pay attention to body language, vocal qualities to what people are saying with their words AND nonverbals. For example, if you ask someone if they have any questions about what you’ve said, and their response, is “Uh, no, I, uh, guess not,” that should tell you something.

For more tips on becoming a better listener, check out my previous blog post, Improve Your Listening Skills in Five Easy Steps.

7 Rules for E-Mail Subject Lines

by Amy Castro

Published on: March 27, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, communication, customer service, e-mail etiquette, e-mail rules, e-mail subject lines, effective e-mails, effective emails, email etiquette, email rules, email subject lines, icts, icts texas, innovative communication and training solutions, professional communication

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(This is not my inbox btw!)

I’ve been on the road training for the past two weeks and will basically be gone for the next four weeks as well.

Although I have e-mail access on my cell phone, I’m not always able to check it during the day and e-mails tend to pile up.

Part of my sorting process is looking at who sent the e-mail and more importantly, the subject line, to determine which e-mails I’ll open and deal with now, versus those ignored until the weekend, versus those discarded without being opened.

Apparently, I’m not alone. According to recent studies, billions of e-mails are sent every second, and employees send and receive nearly 200 e-mail messages each day.

As a result, people don’t read many of the messages they receive, or at least don’t read them in a timely manner. If you want recipients to read your emails, you have to write short, compelling, and specific subject lines.

The final chapter of my book, “Practical Communication: 25 Tips, Tools, and Techniques for Getting Along and Getting Things Done,” is entitled, “E-mail Subject Lines That Get Attention.”

Here are some tips from that chapter.

1. Keep subject lines to no more than 52 characters, including spaces. Any more than that will usually be “cut off” when a person is reviewing his or her email queue. If you don’t make the most of those first 52 characters, the recipient may not take the time to read further.

2. Summarize the bottom line of the e-mail’s message. A good subject line is like a good newspaper headline. It lets the reader know the overriding message of the body of the e-mail so he or she can determine whether to open the message.

3. If you have a question and it fits in the subject line, put it there. There’s no need to have a subject line that reads, “Have a question for you,” and then write “What’s your cell phone number?” in the body of the e-mail. Why not just put “What’s your cell phone
number?” in the subject line and keep the body of the e-mail blank? This way, the recipient doesn’t even have to open the e-mail to know what you want.

4. If a recipient has something to gain by opening, or lose by not opening an e-mail, state so in the subject line. If you can provide motivation to open the e-mail in your subject line, the odds are, people will open the e-mail and read it. However, don’t become “the boy who cried wolf.” If you provide false urgency as a method to trick people into opening your emails, they’ll stop opening any of your emails.

5. Split e-mails with multiple topics into multiple e-mails, so that each subject line reflects the content of the e-mail. No one wants to open an e-mail with a subject line that reads, “Lots of questions,” or “Several issues of concern.” Subject lines like
these are not only unappealing, but make it difficult for recipients to find the correct e-mail later on if they need to refer back to a specific “issue” that was included in the multi-topic e-mail.

6. If a message requires some action on the part of the recipient, state the action in the subject line. Especially when the action is time sensitive, it’s important to state
the action in the subject line, so the recipient immediately knows what the action is and when it must be completed.

7. Avoid unnecessary words, such as adjectives and adverbs. Although we shouldn’t use slang or incorrect abbreviations in e-mail subject lines, it’s okay to dispense with adjectives and adverbs. Do we really need to say something is “very good” or is “good” good enough? Cutting extraneous words will help keep the word count down in our subject lines.

10 Communication Tips in 10 Sentences

by Amy Castro

Published on: March 19, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, communication, icts, innovative communication and training solutions, practical communication blog, professional communication

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When writing this blog, I often get long-winded in my attempt to explain, define, provide examples, etc., so that people, “get it.” However, there is some communication advice that is so simple, so succinct, that it doesn’t require explanation.

Here are 10 tips I’ve received over the years that can stand on their own.

1. Talk less, listen more.

2. Don’t use a 25-cent word when a 5-cent word will do.

3. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

4. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

5. Get to the point.

6. The word, “but,” negates everything you said before it.

7. If you have to say, “I really shouldn’t be telling you this,” then don’t.

8. You can’t un-ring a rung bell.

9. Don’t come to me with problems, come to me with solutions.

And a direct quote from my daughter when she was about three-years old and I was busily doing other things while she was trying to tell me something. She took my face in her hands, turned my face to her, and said,

10. “Mommy, I need you to look at me when I’m talking to you so I know you’re listening.”

What communication “one-liners” would you add to this list?

When the Meeting is Over: Three Key Follow-Up Activities for Leaders

by Amy Castro

Published on: March 13, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, business etiquette, communication, effective meetings, icts, innovative communication and training solutions, meeting etiquette, professional communication

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For the last installment of our three-part meeting management series, we’ll take a look at post-meeting activities for meeting leaders.

Post-meeting activities?

Yes!

Just because your meeting has ended, doesn’t mean your job as a meeting leader has ended. In fact, if you lead regular meetings, you’ll be on a perpetual cycle of the three steps– preparing, facilitating, follow up.

Here are three key activities that should occur immediately after any meeting.

1. Evaluate your meeting. While the meeting’s activities are fresh in your mind, ask yourself a few questions about the success of your meeting. Here are some questions you should ask yourself. Additionally, you should periodically ask these questions of your participants to ensure you’re getting an accurate view of your meeting’s effectiveness.

1. Did participants received complete information about the meeting’s time, location, and purpose?

2. Did participants receive adequate notice of the meeting?

3. Was the facility comfortable and adequate in size and seating to accommodate the number of participants?

4. Was equipment tested to ensure proper operation BEFORE the meeting began?

5. Were participants given the opportunity to express their ideas and opinions?

6. Did one or more people “take over” any particular discussion?

7. Did participants feel their opinions were heard and were treated with respect?

8. Did participants feel the meeting was a good use of their time?

9. Were decisions made following an established and accepted process?

10. Did decisions include everyone’s input?

11. At the end of the meeting, did every participant understand what after-actions would occur? (Who, will do what, by when?)

12. Did the meeting begin and end on time?

13. Were all agenda items addressed within the meeting timeframe?

14. Did the “right” people attend and were they prepared to fully participate?

15. Following the meeting, were participants and other involved parties provided with a meeting summary of decisions and future actions?

16. Were meeting outcomes achieved?

2. Distribute meeting minutes. Minutes should capture key discussion points, decisions, agreements, and planned actions of the group and specific participants. If you had a note taker at your meeting (highly recommend) ensure he or she creates and distributes meeting minutes within 72 hours of the meeting. Getting minutes completed quickly allows participants adequate time to review them and follow up with you if there are discrepancies.

Additionally, it gives them plenty of time to confirm and complete any actions they either volunteered for, or were assigned at the meeting. Receiving minutes the day before, day of, or at the next meeting is totally unacceptable and puts everyone at a disadvantage.

3. Perform progress checks with those who have agreed to take action. This should be a routine part of your meetings and one your participants should expect. When you set up progress checks in advance, they feel more like “check ins” rather than “checking up.”

However, don’t overdo it. One-too-many check-in’s can become micromanagement. Progress checks will increase the odds that participants will move quickly to complete their tasks.

Additionally, you’ll decrease the odds that participants will show up at your next meeting with excuses for not completing their tasks, such as, “I didn’t know what you wanted,” or “I didn’t have time.” Progress checks should help expose problems early enough so that you and the participant can identify solutions.

Six Keys to Facilitating a Meeting

by Amy Castro

Published on: March 6, 2012

Categories: Practical Communication

Tags: amy castro blog, amy castro's blog, avoid mixed messages, business etiquette, communication, effective meetings, icts, icts texas, meeting etiquette, professional communication

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Last week we looked at activities that revolved around meeting planning. However, even a well-planned meeting can run into a ditch if there isn’t a strong facilitator and structure present to keep the meeting on track.

Here are some tips for facilitating a meeting that will help you accomplish your goals and respect all participants’ time and input.

1. Involve every participant. You invited your meeting participants for a reason. One of the goals of a meeting leader should be to ensure everyone at the meeting has the opportunity to provide their input. Otherwise, why are they there?

2. Facilitate communication. It’s the meeting leader’s job to ensure the meeting stays on track, agenda items are covered, and proper etiquette is maintained during a meeting. A good meeting leader should involve participants in setting ground rules for how meetings will be conducted, including deciding how decisions will be made.

A good leader will also set the example of “good communication,” by being assertive, yet polite, listening well, and asking good questions to get the information he or she seeks. Finally, a good leader needs to know how to manage interruptions, including bad participant behavior such as sidebar conversations, people who take coversations ”off track,” and conflicts that will inevitably errupt.

3. Ensure agenda topics are covered and goals are achieved. To keep your meeting agenda on track, it’s a great idea to have a timekeeper who can let participants know when they get close to the end of a topic’s assigned discussion time. Sometimes agenda items have to be continued, but a good meeting leader generally has a good grasp on how long a discussion should take- so delaying decisions for further discussion at a future meeting should be relatively rare. Adequate coverage of agenda items is also a function of ensuring participants realize the importance of doing their meeting pre-work and coming to the meeting prepared to accomplish the tasks (brainstorming, decision making, informing, etc.,) that were outlined in the agenda.

4. Maintain dignity and respect for all participants. At times, a meeting leader has to be a mediator between parties on opposite sides of an issue. Groundrules help a lot with maintaining dignity and respect for all participants. However, meeting leaders must also be prepared to redirect inappropriate or impolite communication by sharing with particpants how disagreements should be handled.

5. Be prepared to manage difficult situations. For anyone who has ever attended a meeting, it shouldn’t be a surprise that things go “wrong.” A meeting leader should be able to anticipate the most common difficult situations and be prepared to handle them accordingly.

Things such as ongoing conflict between participants, controversial meeting topics, and participants with bad habits (stage-hogging, arguing, interrupting, venting, getting off track) are all things a leader can prepare in advance to handle.

Some techniques for keeping meetings on track include:

- Reminding participants of the agenda and its goals

- Seeking the help of other participants to keep meetings (or people) on track

- Paraphrasing, but then re-direct discussion, “Bob, I know the budget is important. Right now though, we still need to finish agenda item #2.”

- “Parking” the discussion in the parking lot to be addressed later

6. Begin and end the meeting on time. Regardless of whether all participants have arrived yet, meeting leaders should start meetings on time. Delaying the start of a meeting tells those who are late, “It’s okay you’re late, we’ll wait for you.” Not a good habit to get into. If someone is chronically late, be sure to address the issue with hime or her privately, but don’t ignore the behavior. If the behavior doesn’t change, be ready to replace participants who cannot be on time. If they’re not present, they’re not contributing, so there’s no point in continuing to invite them.

Throughout the meeting, have the timekeeper remind people of the time and how much meeting time is left. This helps everyone stay focused. Also, give a 10-minute warning when the meeting is coming to an end.

Finally, unless there’s powerful reason to continue, you should end meetings on time. People plan their day around when the facilitator says the meeting is going to end. A meeting leader who allows a meeting to run past the end time ruins everyone’s schedule. If you don’t have time to get through your agenda, plan better next time.

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